I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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