Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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