may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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