Porn is love you can see.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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