Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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