I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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