i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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