I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Randomize
