I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize