He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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