So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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