I want to make a zoo with you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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