soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize