Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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