what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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