then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
And then he peed in my hair
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
