There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
