Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
