yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
