Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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