Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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