After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
