Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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