How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
