I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
