i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
nutella sex= disaster
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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