that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize