i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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