He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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