no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
