I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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