it's too hot outside to masturbate.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize