I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
