just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
