sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
