The maid of honor just puked.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
