I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize