You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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