tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The uberlube is also flammable
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize