South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
