he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
