we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
