This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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