i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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