I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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