I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize