I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
