I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
