shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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