So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize