Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
