im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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