absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
