Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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