i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
