just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
