Whatcha textin bout Willis?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
