I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
