i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
