My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
