just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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